random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Your cock deserves a montage
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
