Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize