This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
