SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
