just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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