Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
