Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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