My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize