dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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