I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
