the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize