i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
