Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...

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(704): View more from North Carolina

the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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(845): View more from New York

and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

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(316): View more from Kansas

You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

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(360): View more from Washington

Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?

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