I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
