There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
