if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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