Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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