how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
