I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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