they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
