New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
