btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
