omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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