it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
