peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
