why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
