I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize