The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
