Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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