nut hugger
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
