I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize