google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
