That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
