Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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