she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize