halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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