Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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