Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
