Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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