Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
