fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize