so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
