There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
