what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
