My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
