on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can't put those talents on a resume
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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