What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
