So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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