I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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