He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
