He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
