Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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