So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
