OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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