Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
false alarm, still single
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
