OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
